Sept. ’06: Was traded in by that ungrateful family that I moved from California to Colorado. Bastages traded me in for a Murano. After that hellacious climb over the mountains, after blowing out three speakers, and after losing the ashtray, they just cast me aside for some bimbo. How the hell do they LOSE my damn ashtray, anyway? Hope they choke on their leather seats. ::huff::
Oct. ’06: I can’t believe that sales guy took such a pittance for me. I mean, helLOOOO? California babe here? C’mon people! Though trading that Buick in was probably a good call on the new guy’s part. I hope he doesn’t find out about my occasional leaking any time soon though. How embarrassing.
Damn, this guy sure made up for the lack of dollars he was willing to put out for me. I got a full-on sponge-bath and wax job. Now I feel bad about hiding my leaky issue.
Nov. ’06: Uh-oh. This one really does pay attention to me. He took me in to see what my engine light was about. Thank the highways it’s a super-secret Nissan-eyes-only code. They were thrown off-track with a knock-sensor, but it may only be a matter of time now. He just doesn’t like to see something’s wrong, but what’s a girl to do? I can’t TELL him what’s up, of course.
Oh, new speakers. That’s much better now. Not that you’d know it from this ::gag:: death metal rock stuff he listens to.
Just what the hell is this white slippery stuff on the road, anyway? Wait, I’m in MONTANA? I much prefer the sand and sun of SoCal to this stuff. Apparently someone didn’t pay the heating bill either. It’s so cold, my little leak opened up to be a bigger one. He’s not the type to miss this, I’m sure.
Dec. ’06: Holy SHIT! That white freezing stuff has been falling all damn day! My paint is going to crack, and damn if I’m gonna get a pedicure to last in THIS crap! Oh, and THEN he takes me in for fresh oil where some knuckle-dragging gorilla twists my filter too tight. Get your paws OFF of me, thankyew! I must express my displeasure by dimming the lights when the radiator fans come on… not that they will any time soon if this freezing crap keeps up.
Jan. ’07: Ouch! I picked up OWW! A nail on this goat-trail of a … OUCHOUCHOUCH highway. Now you’d think he’s GOTTA get me some new shoes, but what does he do? He has them PATCH it! Where the hell am I? Petticoat Junction?? These are LAST SEASON’S Goodyear line. I can’t go stepping out in patched tires. ::sob::
Feb. ’07: Alright, I’m about done here. No bath since September, nails on the road, hundreds of miles a week… A girl can only do so much ya know. Vengeance plotting begins now.
Mar. ’07: I think he’s reading my diary. He just gave me a bath and it feels SOOOO good to get rid of that crusty junk that was building up on my paint. I’m still going to melt down though. Even better for that, he just filled me up with high-test petrol. Guess he’s trying to suck up.
Rats, he was taking me to the dealership for the engine light, so I had to move up my timetable. I started by flashing the Air Bag light, but he didn’t notice so I had to hit him where it hurts; I shut off the stereo. HA! And it won’t turn back on, either. Double HA! So I finally get the treatment I deserve: A lift on a flat-bed to the dealership (yes, the shoppers there were looking up to me in awe, I’m sure) where I was treated pretty darned good. So what if Mr. Cheapskate owner had to dig in to savings for me. It’s about time!
So a new alternator, new thermostat, and a regular maintenance tranny flush later, I’m feeling almost pampered again (which is all I ever asked for; Is that so bad?). I gave him his stereo back, but only because it’s finally starting to warm up around here.
Disturbed, Liberate
15 March 2007
12 March 2007
The dishwasher groans
I can say tonight, in true bachelor fashion, that I have every piece of flatware in the house currently bathing in the dishwasher. Accompanying them is every bowl, dinner plate, and salad plate. Before you think me too much of a slob, please take into consideration that prior to the ex leaving, the plate herds were, shall we say, culled in fits of … whatever it is that temperamental ex’s experience at random times (okay, I broke one of the dinner plates, but I wasn’t hurling it at anyone at the time). Thus, a complete eight piece set is now four dinner plates, five salad plates, five bowls, two coffee cups and four coffee plates. The flatware was culled as well, but I never had to throw pieces of them away. Amen.
Anyway, it's a good thing I have frozen burritos, a working microwave, and beer in the fridge for dinner. Happily the bottle opener doesn't need to be washed, so it's all good.
Mozart, Symphony No. 1, ES-Major KV 216
Anyway, it's a good thing I have frozen burritos, a working microwave, and beer in the fridge for dinner. Happily the bottle opener doesn't need to be washed, so it's all good.
Mozart, Symphony No. 1, ES-Major KV 216
04 March 2007
Couldn't get much better
What a great day to go skiing. Ten fresh inches of powder over the past couple days made the hours, well, demanding; I'm not in particularly great physical condition. At least I can still walk today though, so I call it a win.
On the way back down I caught this gem... I wonder where that lane is at?
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, I Touch You Once
28 February 2007
Conceit
It's a mere twenty degrees outside and the interstate is just about a sheet of ice (as evidenced by cars facing unseemly directions on the shoulder of the road). Everybody is moving at about twenty miles per hour with an occasional run up to twenty-five, and when there aren't emergency vehicles making you merge to the right to let them pass, the tow trucks have their lights flashing to get around and clear non-emergency spin-outs.
So help me understand this, Speed Racer: Why are you messing with the radar detector stuck to your windshield right now? Do you really think the Highway Patrol gives a rat's ass about you and your ... -chuckle- ... Honda Civic? I'm passing you right now fer cryin' out loud.
Get OVER yourself already!
Alice Cooper, Eat Some More
So help me understand this, Speed Racer: Why are you messing with the radar detector stuck to your windshield right now? Do you really think the Highway Patrol gives a rat's ass about you and your ... -chuckle- ... Honda Civic? I'm passing you right now fer cryin' out loud.
Get OVER yourself already!
Alice Cooper, Eat Some More
20 February 2007
Down time
Unwind.
Kick back.
Take a load off.
Relieve yourself of mundane household responsibilities and bask in the glow of Slackerdom.
-or-
Spend a combined 24 hours over a weekend wrestling with new computer hardware before you come to the realization that maybe the marketing glossy wasn't entirely accurate "in your case".
A while back, this infernal machine started acting flakey. I did some scrimping and saving, and picked up some nice but not bleeding edge pieces parts. Replacing the motherboard meant a new CPU and memory. I could have gone with a motherboard with integrated video, but what fun is that? Hence, a new video card. Some people pester me saying I could have gotten a Dell (dude) or something similar for the same money, and have something that's already put together, no muss, no fuss. There are two problems with that for me.
First, I like building it. Pulling out the same Philips screw driver that I've used nigh on two decades for these projects (you may now gag on the nostalgia). Cutting open the static-protection envelope to see if the cat, who walked by ten minutes ago across the wool carpet in another part of the world, generated enough static electricity to zap the thing ANYway. Aligning the motherboard with the mount points. Plugging cables hither and yon, and on, and on... This is (mostly) fun to me. Occasionally, it's even challenging; Such as having a mid-tower case to cram everything into and hope it doesn't overheat.
Second, for the money they would spend on one of those pre-built systems, I can buy better components than Dell, et al., use in their one-size fits, well, somebody over there who only types in a text editor now and then. If they type slowly. I'm no hard-core FPS gamer, but I loath to have any game I load start to skip more than my Beatles album that my parents gave to me when I was five years old (and if you think about how your average five-year-old treats the black circle, you'll know what I mean). [Tangent: I wonder why my parents didn't like The Beatles?]
So about the assembly. Yes, your mileage may vary, but do yourself a favor and don't attempt to mess with Mother Nature. For if the optical drive were meant to be connected to the SATA port, it would have damn well been made with a SATA connector. Tread not into the blasphemy of "converting" the IDE port to mate in unholy union with the SATA!
Ahem... sorry about that. I'm not the boss of you, do whatever the hell you want. It can work with your IDE hard drive (that is, it's working with one of mine at the moment), but there's just something apparently not right when trying to do the same with the optical variety drives. Or, at least, with my optical drives.
And for the love of Mom's Apple Pie, ALWAYS...
No, wait.
NEVER try to update ANY software when you're only connection is of the dial-up variety. It hurts.
Megadeth, Disconnect
Kick back.
Take a load off.
Relieve yourself of mundane household responsibilities and bask in the glow of Slackerdom.
-or-
Spend a combined 24 hours over a weekend wrestling with new computer hardware before you come to the realization that maybe the marketing glossy wasn't entirely accurate "in your case".
A while back, this infernal machine started acting flakey. I did some scrimping and saving, and picked up some nice but not bleeding edge pieces parts. Replacing the motherboard meant a new CPU and memory. I could have gone with a motherboard with integrated video, but what fun is that? Hence, a new video card. Some people pester me saying I could have gotten a Dell (dude) or something similar for the same money, and have something that's already put together, no muss, no fuss. There are two problems with that for me.
First, I like building it. Pulling out the same Philips screw driver that I've used nigh on two decades for these projects (you may now gag on the nostalgia). Cutting open the static-protection envelope to see if the cat, who walked by ten minutes ago across the wool carpet in another part of the world, generated enough static electricity to zap the thing ANYway. Aligning the motherboard with the mount points. Plugging cables hither and yon, and on, and on... This is (mostly) fun to me. Occasionally, it's even challenging; Such as having a mid-tower case to cram everything into and hope it doesn't overheat.
Second, for the money they would spend on one of those pre-built systems, I can buy better components than Dell, et al., use in their one-size fits, well, somebody over there who only types in a text editor now and then. If they type slowly. I'm no hard-core FPS gamer, but I loath to have any game I load start to skip more than my Beatles album that my parents gave to me when I was five years old (and if you think about how your average five-year-old treats the black circle, you'll know what I mean). [Tangent: I wonder why my parents didn't like The Beatles?]
So about the assembly. Yes, your mileage may vary, but do yourself a favor and don't attempt to mess with Mother Nature. For if the optical drive were meant to be connected to the SATA port, it would have damn well been made with a SATA connector. Tread not into the blasphemy of "converting" the IDE port to mate in unholy union with the SATA!
Ahem... sorry about that. I'm not the boss of you, do whatever the hell you want. It can work with your IDE hard drive (that is, it's working with one of mine at the moment), but there's just something apparently not right when trying to do the same with the optical variety drives. Or, at least, with my optical drives.
And for the love of Mom's Apple Pie, ALWAYS...
No, wait.
NEVER try to update ANY software when you're only connection is of the dial-up variety. It hurts.
Megadeth, Disconnect
13 February 2007
:grunt:
I could feel it within. It was trying to emerge, but just could not make the transition. I tried to help it along, but my efforts only seemed to suppress its escape. Frustration began to build. So damned close, yet no relief. I stretched. I twisted. I tried all I could to secure its wonderful release.
Nothing.
I began to think I would just be tortured the entire day with it, just creeping into my train of thoughts through work. Distracting me on my drive home. God, will I know no peace?!?
And then I read this. Thank you Scott. That felt wonderful.
Megadeth, The World Needs A Hero
Nothing.
I began to think I would just be tortured the entire day with it, just creeping into my train of thoughts through work. Distracting me on my drive home. God, will I know no peace?!?
And then I read this. Thank you Scott. That felt wonderful.
Megadeth, The World Needs A Hero
10 February 2007
Oh, look
So there is this street corner I drive by daily, and recently there was a Little Caesers Pizza joint opened up. Initially there was some high-school drop out standing out there daily holding a sign up to get the attention of drivers to let them all know about some deal. I couldn't tell you what it was; Every time I saw it, the sign was being held upside-down... Every. Day. Note to the store owner: You get what you pay for. That's all I'm sayin'.
They apparently got the memo, for what do I see there this week? A Little Caesers characater walking up and down the sidewalk, waving his little stubby arms.
Now, these costumes are made to be a bit larger than life to gain appropriate attention. You've probably seen big ol' subway sandwiches walking around periodically for Subways, or maybe a big sponge with arms (not SpongeBob) walking in front of a car wash... You get the idea. Large. Or at least, Tall. Unfortunately this has the tendancy to distort the character. Even more than usual, I mean.
So here's a Little Caeser character, stretched massively in the vertical:
Is it particularly wrong that this seems to me to be an eight foot tall toga-wearing penis? Standing in front of a big-assed sign saying Hot and Ready for only $5?
I may never eat pizza again...
Pablo Gargano, Trance in Saigon
They apparently got the memo, for what do I see there this week? A Little Caesers characater walking up and down the sidewalk, waving his little stubby arms.
Now, these costumes are made to be a bit larger than life to gain appropriate attention. You've probably seen big ol' subway sandwiches walking around periodically for Subways, or maybe a big sponge with arms (not SpongeBob) walking in front of a car wash... You get the idea. Large. Or at least, Tall. Unfortunately this has the tendancy to distort the character. Even more than usual, I mean.
So here's a Little Caeser character, stretched massively in the vertical:
Is it particularly wrong that this seems to me to be an eight foot tall toga-wearing penis? Standing in front of a big-assed sign saying Hot and Ready for only $5?
I may never eat pizza again...
Pablo Gargano, Trance in Saigon
God made me cool
... and humble. Okay, now that we've all had a good laugh to clear the cobwebs away this fine morning.
This week has been an exercise at work. I was pulled from my daily duties to be a guest auditor. That is, I was asked... nay, I was expected to stab my nose into other peoples' bidness and sniff around to find any hint of impropriety. Invalid discounts on services rendered. Missing PO's or exposed credit card numbers. All that jazz.
I'm not sitting at their desk or calling them, but merely going through calls they've worked on to see if everything is there that is supposed to be. The idea being that I will gain some better understanding of process flow and how some things interact with other things in the company.
How about this: Apply the SOX audits to congressional actions. Yeah, that'd be a hoot.
Paffendorf, Be Cool
This week has been an exercise at work. I was pulled from my daily duties to be a guest auditor. That is, I was asked... nay, I was expected to stab my nose into other peoples' bidness and sniff around to find any hint of impropriety. Invalid discounts on services rendered. Missing PO's or exposed credit card numbers. All that jazz.
I'm not sitting at their desk or calling them, but merely going through calls they've worked on to see if everything is there that is supposed to be. The idea being that I will gain some better understanding of process flow and how some things interact with other things in the company.
How about this: Apply the SOX audits to congressional actions. Yeah, that'd be a hoot.
Paffendorf, Be Cool
04 February 2007
Oh, it's you.
The moon woke me about ten minutes ago. So full (well, just past full) and bright, there was apparently no way some measley window shades were going to keep it from prying my eyelids open.
Before I woke, I was roaming the forest. I don't recall now if I had excess amounts of fur, chasing down some hapless hiker, but it makes me wonder.
Damn though. Six in the morning on a Sunday? For a fence-sitting Agnostic? Just ain't right, I tell ya. I'm going (to try to go) back to bed.
Ludwig Van Beethoven, Symphonie No. 9 D-Minor 'Alla Gioia' - 1st Movement; Allegro Ma Non Troppo Un Poco Maestoso
Before I woke, I was roaming the forest. I don't recall now if I had excess amounts of fur, chasing down some hapless hiker, but it makes me wonder.
Damn though. Six in the morning on a Sunday? For a fence-sitting Agnostic? Just ain't right, I tell ya. I'm going (to try to go) back to bed.
Ludwig Van Beethoven, Symphonie No. 9 D-Minor 'Alla Gioia' - 1st Movement; Allegro Ma Non Troppo Un Poco Maestoso
01 February 2007
Memories of Fantasia
Um... Okay. I'll be looking for that sunrise then (Yeah, I'm wasting time here with a blasted "test").
Tool, Enema
You are Death
Change, Transformation, Alteration.
People fear this card, but if you want to change your life, this is one of the
best indicators for it. Whatever happens, life will be different. Yes, the Death card can signal a death in the right circumstances (a question about a very sick or old relative, for example), but unlike its dramatic presentation in the movies, the Death card is far more likely to signal transformation, passage, change. Scorpio, the sign of this card, has three forms: scorpion, serpent, eagle. The Death card indicates this transition from lower to higher to highest. This is a card of humility, and it may mean you have been brought low, but only so that you can then go higher than ever before. Death "humbles" all, but it also "exults." Always keep in mind that on this card of darkness there is featured a sunrise as well. You could be ready for a change.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Tool, Enema
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