While work is rolling along fairly nicely, the ten of us in the group decided with the boss to take a half day off Friday afternoon at the company's expense. Have a nice lunch, unwind, maybe get a White Elephant gift exchange going... Done deal. This might seem pretty anarchistic and edgy at first glance.
"Yeah man! Get paid to slack off at some restaurant, dude! Oh wait! BAR HOP! YEAH MAN!" (pause for Pantera goodness... Hole In The Sky ... Okay, good)
Alas, this is a company-endorsed once-a-year thing that each manager can do for their team. Hasta-la-bye-bye anarchy. Fare thee well, edginess. We the team just decide when during the year to do it, and go.
I'm sure you're just as shocked as I to find out that most teams take some Friday in December to do this, aren't you? Yeah. Hey listen, if I missed your call... I really don't care, okay? I hope you left a message.
We also decided that, in the spirit of being a team, we'd get all chummy & take the light-rail together to the destination. So the four of us get on the train (remember that "ten of us in the team" bullshit earlier? yeah... anyway) and get a kick out of mocking the others on board. Mostly just the driver's voice, really. If you've ever seen Monsters Inc. and recall the guy that voiced Roz, a.k.a. Number One, you might be interested to know that person is the driver of the F Line from the Lincoln station up to 16th & California here in Denver. Combine that with a Napoleon Dynamite-esque 25 second siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggggghhhh before saying, "Please keep clear of the doors as they close" and you have a great idea of what we were listening to at every. Damn. Stop.
Yes, they do have an automated voice with some nice lady that tells you what stop is coming next, but I guess this driver just HAS to make use of his talent and accompanying captive audience. I offered up a little prayer: "God, please speed us to the end of the line... I don't care if the brakes go out, just please make his narration STOP! My sides are killin me here from laughing so much, and the other riders are looking at me funny. Yes, that includes my coworkers."
So, meeting the other six people at the destination, much conversation ensues about entertainment (being Hard Rock Café, that's just going to happen). Well, at some point, boss lady mentions The Partridge Family's Danny Bonaduce & his reality show from a year or two ago. One coworker chimes in, "Oh yeah. He was a mobster, wasn't he?"
blink... stare ...blink
You hear the pin drop, followed by laughter. I dunno, did the Partridge Family ink a record deal by other than talent? It kinda makes sense. Unless (or even if) you subscribed to the "Ah, that creepy Reuben was getting some action on the side" theory.
I ordered the HRC cheeseburger. Heather was our waitress. Go there. Ask for her. Treat her well, and she'll take care of you. She kicks ass. Tip her poorly, and I'll kick yours. M'kay? So Heather asks how I want it cooked, and I reply, "I'd like to hear it MOOO when you bring it out, but whatever the legal minimum time that you're required to cook it will be fine."
Did I mention I'd taken the seat next to the group's vegetarian? She was displeased with me for that. Understand that when I say she was displeased, I don't mean she glared at me, or spun off on some vegan rant, or teared up at the thought of the cow remnant that was soon to be devoured in front of her. No, instead she took the high road and slugged my arm. Hard.
I ordered a Guinness to go with that slab o' meat. Sitting on the other side of me was our resident Muslim follower, and he slugged my other arm.
Yeah, I really like my team. We can vent as needed and not get all those fucked up "hurt feelings", and visits from HR followed by "sensitivity training".
Eating with two bruised arms was an interesting ordeal though. Still, it was a good burger. I'm even here to tell the tale as, opposed to driving the porcelain bus courtesy our good friend Mr. Coli, E. Yay for the home team.
I did my Capitalist bit by buying a damned t-shirt. That makes two HRC shirts that I own now. Pathetic, ain't it? On the up-side I have a dozen not-extravagant wine glasses that fucking MATCH from the White Elephant exchange, so I'm happy. (See Heather? I didn't say anything about those shot glasses you let the coworker slip into her bag o' goodies! ... uh, that is... ~nevermind~)
After the gift exchange and "See ya later"s outside on the 16th Street Mall, three of us meander back to the train (notice how we lost one of our initial four?) and head back down to get our cars at work. The day ends well.
Bruce Cockburn, Mary Had a Baby
09 December 2006
05 December 2006
BILLions and BILLions...
To be added to search terms that Google cannot handle:
"convert 149597870 km to limes" I mean, don't you wonder just how many limes that would work out to? And how much accompanying salt & Tequilla that would require to get through?
... damn those pebcak errors!
So that Wil guy posted some math, and woke my brain up. Because of this, I had to follow through with the exercise.
For
C = 2 · π · R
and
R= 92,955,806-ish miles (one AU).
Solve for C
C = 584,058,562 mi (bear with me, it'll all be over soon)
And C over time: 21,026,108,231 mi for 36 years + about 438,043,921 mi for nine-ish months
That boils down to roughly twenty-one and a half Billion miles (imagine Carl Sagan saying that; he always capitalizes his pronunciation of Billion, doesn't he?) that I've travelled on this rock in my lifetime.
Covenant, Voices
"convert 149597870 km to limes" I mean, don't you wonder just how many limes that would work out to? And how much accompanying salt & Tequilla that would require to get through?
... damn those pebcak errors!
So that Wil guy posted some math, and woke my brain up. Because of this, I had to follow through with the exercise.
For
C = 2 · π · R
and
R= 92,955,806-ish miles (one AU).
Solve for C
C = 584,058,562 mi (bear with me, it'll all be over soon)
And C over time: 21,026,108,231 mi for 36 years + about 438,043,921 mi for nine-ish months
That boils down to roughly twenty-one and a half Billion miles (imagine Carl Sagan saying that; he always capitalizes his pronunciation of Billion, doesn't he?) that I've travelled on this rock in my lifetime.
Covenant, Voices
03 December 2006
Movies
Here's what I've got. Whadda ya like?
No, I'm not giving 'em away or anything (not at this point, anyway). Just thought maybe a movie would be good to throw in & didn't know which I should watch.
So... Whadda ya like?
DJ Krush, Jazzanova
No, I'm not giving 'em away or anything (not at this point, anyway). Just thought maybe a movie would be good to throw in & didn't know which I should watch.
So... Whadda ya like?
DJ Krush, Jazzanova
01 December 2006
Blog about ... my blog. Shoot me now.
Huh. After that last post, I did some minor house-keeping here; went ahead and "converted" to the new Google-powered blogspot, whatever that means. Also took a look at a few things... like the comments that needed moderation (I am SO sorry that I took so long on those; I'm just clueless, apparently), but also my profile.
"Age: 250"
I had no idea I was in such great shape for my age. I mean, I kept telling Abe that the secret to long life was staying mostly out of the public eye (ouch), but here I am now. Statue-less, and not to be found on ANY dollar or coin denomination. A quarter-millenia old. Seems like just yesterday I was hearing ol' Ben recounting his time in the Continental Congress... Whadda wind-bag. And make no mistake, at that time the dentistry profession was less a profession than a cult. Ben really needed some Tic-Tacs, ya know?
Maybe I should do some updating, huh?
"Age: 250"
I had no idea I was in such great shape for my age. I mean, I kept telling Abe that the secret to long life was staying mostly out of the public eye (ouch), but here I am now. Statue-less, and not to be found on ANY dollar or coin denomination. A quarter-millenia old. Seems like just yesterday I was hearing ol' Ben recounting his time in the Continental Congress... Whadda wind-bag. And make no mistake, at that time the dentistry profession was less a profession than a cult. Ben really needed some Tic-Tacs, ya know?
Maybe I should do some updating, huh?
Tired? Me? Why do you ask?
I spent 6am to 8pm yesterday at work. Best part? The tool I use to do my job told me that I was done. Ten minutes before shutting down a manager comes by and asks about "The List". I say, "It's done. Have a go.."
"No, there are two left in there, one that's been done since last week."
Sure as shit, there's a call sitting since the 24th, ready to go. I didn't see it. Number Three didn't see it. So now the POS order manager system has taken to lying to some of us. Grand.
Upgrades are coming at the end of the year, which are touted to fix everything ... just like last time. It still boggles my mind, just how much cash money we've poured into this shit.
Our CEO gave his fiscal year end pep talk a few weeks ago. You know the one. Where he gives his hand motion in front of us all to advise how great everything is, and we nod our heads and tell the people next to us how great everything is... I admit the bonus is a nice one. Biggest I've seen since starting five years ago, actually.
Snow snow snow. Skiing time is soooo close, and the ski pass is burning to be used. Soon.
Oh! Happy December, everybody.
Combichrist, Without Emotions
"No, there are two left in there, one that's been done since last week."
Sure as shit, there's a call sitting since the 24th, ready to go. I didn't see it. Number Three didn't see it. So now the POS order manager system has taken to lying to some of us. Grand.
Upgrades are coming at the end of the year, which are touted to fix everything ... just like last time. It still boggles my mind, just how much cash money we've poured into this shit.
Our CEO gave his fiscal year end pep talk a few weeks ago. You know the one. Where he gives his hand motion in front of us all to advise how great everything is, and we nod our heads and tell the people next to us how great everything is... I admit the bonus is a nice one. Biggest I've seen since starting five years ago, actually.
Snow snow snow. Skiing time is soooo close, and the ski pass is burning to be used. Soon.
Oh! Happy December, everybody.
Combichrist, Without Emotions
27 November 2006
Counting can be fun
A Thanksgiving weekend in review
For each direction, there were 750 miles driven (eleven hours) and about 31 gallons of gas consumed, which equates to a mediocre at best mid-20's mileage. Let's also not forget that speeding ticket I got ON Thanksgiving by Officer Sphincter (85 in a 75 zone on I-90... gee, I wonder why the mileage wasn't that great?).
Oh, and to Wyoming's Fish and Game Department: It's time to send out the memo again telling the cute brown bunny rabbits to stay OFF the damn asphalt at 2am when I'm driving along. I turned one of them into a roadkill appetizer for an aquila chrysaetos to feast on later in the day. I did indeed see one of these grand scavengers on the highway enjoying breakfast a few hours later. That was one BIG bird. Had to have been a six foot wing-span as he lifted off to get out of the semi's way. Damn that I didn't bring the camera this trip.
And pass that memo on to the deer too, huh? I won't tell you what I saw spread here and there at about the mid-point between Casper & Cheyenne.
Over the weekend there was also:
One turkey carved and devoured.
One ham, dressed with pineapples & cherries.
Many helpings of REAL cranberry sauce. The kind that requires a stove top & pan, and no can opener.
Mashed potatoes & gravy.
Fruit salad, peas, warm bread & butter, not-from-a-box stuffing... The table was buckling under all the goodness.
But after that...
10 doses of Tylenol Cold non-drowsy (no, not all at once), totalling
- 6.5 g acetaminophen
- 200 mg dextro... hell, call it cough suppressant
- 4 g expectorant
- 100 mg decongestant
6 doses Robitussin cough syrup
- another 600 mg expectorant
and for night-time, 3 doses of Sudafed something-or-other that knocked my ass out.
So after that, there was time for some more counting for the drive home when 5am Sunday rolled around...
Inches of snow: 3
Degrees above zero: 4 F
Attempts needed to start the Nissan: ONE, which makes me all kinds of happy.
Not that I would have been totally crushed to have had to take a day off work due to being out of state and visiting my mom, but if the Nissan can handle Montana's version of an "it's getting a tad chilly" morning, I have no doubt that it'll handle Denver's worst "it's damn cold out there" morning.
187,000-ish scored on one play of Super Mario 3 on the original NES that my mom has had stashed away as her secret addiction (it's only a personal best, and in world 2 at that).
In other news, it turns out that my mom is an old-school gamer. How fucking cool is that? She tells me that some nights she'll stay up until 3am or so playing it. I had a talk with her, gently reminding her about those nights that she would chastize me about the Commodore 64 sessions I had until all hours. The irony was not lost on her, and I mourn the lost opportunity she had to contribute to my delinquency back in the early 80's. Ah well. Oh look! Three more star cards collected. 5-UP baby!
Micronaut, Gravitation Redux
For each direction, there were 750 miles driven (eleven hours) and about 31 gallons of gas consumed, which equates to a mediocre at best mid-20's mileage. Let's also not forget that speeding ticket I got ON Thanksgiving by Officer Sphincter (85 in a 75 zone on I-90... gee, I wonder why the mileage wasn't that great?).
Oh, and to Wyoming's Fish and Game Department: It's time to send out the memo again telling the cute brown bunny rabbits to stay OFF the damn asphalt at 2am when I'm driving along. I turned one of them into a roadkill appetizer for an aquila chrysaetos to feast on later in the day. I did indeed see one of these grand scavengers on the highway enjoying breakfast a few hours later. That was one BIG bird. Had to have been a six foot wing-span as he lifted off to get out of the semi's way. Damn that I didn't bring the camera this trip.
And pass that memo on to the deer too, huh? I won't tell you what I saw spread here and there at about the mid-point between Casper & Cheyenne.
Over the weekend there was also:
One turkey carved and devoured.
One ham, dressed with pineapples & cherries.
Many helpings of REAL cranberry sauce. The kind that requires a stove top & pan, and no can opener.
Mashed potatoes & gravy.
Fruit salad, peas, warm bread & butter, not-from-a-box stuffing... The table was buckling under all the goodness.
But after that...
10 doses of Tylenol Cold non-drowsy (no, not all at once), totalling
- 6.5 g acetaminophen
- 200 mg dextro... hell, call it cough suppressant
- 4 g expectorant
- 100 mg decongestant
6 doses Robitussin cough syrup
- another 600 mg expectorant
and for night-time, 3 doses of Sudafed something-or-other that knocked my ass out.
So after that, there was time for some more counting for the drive home when 5am Sunday rolled around...
Inches of snow: 3
Degrees above zero: 4 F
Attempts needed to start the Nissan: ONE, which makes me all kinds of happy.
Not that I would have been totally crushed to have had to take a day off work due to being out of state and visiting my mom, but if the Nissan can handle Montana's version of an "it's getting a tad chilly" morning, I have no doubt that it'll handle Denver's worst "it's damn cold out there" morning.
187,000-ish scored on one play of Super Mario 3 on the original NES that my mom has had stashed away as her secret addiction (it's only a personal best, and in world 2 at that).
In other news, it turns out that my mom is an old-school gamer. How fucking cool is that? She tells me that some nights she'll stay up until 3am or so playing it. I had a talk with her, gently reminding her about those nights that she would chastize me about the Commodore 64 sessions I had until all hours. The irony was not lost on her, and I mourn the lost opportunity she had to contribute to my delinquency back in the early 80's. Ah well. Oh look! Three more star cards collected. 5-UP baby!
Micronaut, Gravitation Redux
08 November 2006
ImposSiebel
Hmm. So let's say you pay $2400 for a TV plus $180 tax at Best Buy, but you decide it doesn't show the swimsuit channel clearly enough and take it back. Best Buy credits you only the $2400. Wouldn't you be rightly pissed about the missing $180? My company is doing this to our customers for some asinine reason.
Oh, the customer gets the full credit, but only after the rest of us jump through needless hoops to manually pull an additional credit invoice out of the ass of this order mangler system. And we paid cash money for this system... I wish I could tell you how much fucking money we have thrown at this donkey-dick sucking piece of shit, but it's too obscene a number for me to even type.
Sister Machine Gun, Got To Be
Oh, the customer gets the full credit, but only after the rest of us jump through needless hoops to manually pull an additional credit invoice out of the ass of this order mangler system. And we paid cash money for this system... I wish I could tell you how much fucking money we have thrown at this donkey-dick sucking piece of shit, but it's too obscene a number for me to even type.
Sister Machine Gun, Got To Be
26 October 2006
Computer go boom-ish
Those who get queasy from reading tech shit MUST LEAVE NOW
Wow, cool!
The primary IDE controller on my computer went belly-up, so now I can't boot (unless I keep trying for twenty minutes, and then wait a full TEN minutes for the boot to complete). Yay!
I'll try taking out the optical drive & see if it'll boot from the secondary controller more easily until I scrape up funds to get a new motherboard ... and CPU, since Socket A is a tad long in the tooth (so much so that I doubt it's been produced in a good two or three years). Anyone know someone that can use a working Athlon 1.2GHz Thunderbird series CPU? I'll even include the all-copper heat sink. Waste not, want not, don'cha know.
I could go budget & get a newer mobo that still supports AGP so I can keep my video card. Even so, I'd need new memory since my PC133 chips aren't going to fit anything new. I've got a pair of 128M sticks if anyone wants 'em (the 256M stick is spoken for). I think I'll splurge as much as I can though; I like games.
I'd thought about going to Dell/HP & the like for a new system (yes, even Apple, but I've got too much $$ in PC software to justify that migration). The thing is, I have many components that are fairly new and working great. Why get another optical drive, case & all when I have those already? I suppose I'm just not a true consumer. Oh well.
ANYway, I'm shopping for pieces parts. This does make me all kinds of happy. Now I've just gotta pare down the "nice to have" (I do wish the MSI K8N Diamond Plus wasn't so damned popular) to the "need to have" (I've not forgotten the need for a new power supply).
...
Follow-up: Booting from the secondary IDE does indeed work just fine, though I continue to get a brief delay while chkdsk does its thing. Every. Time. I. Boot. So yeah, a replacement is in the works.
----------------------
Psyclon Nine, You Know What You Are
Wow, cool!
The primary IDE controller on my computer went belly-up, so now I can't boot (unless I keep trying for twenty minutes, and then wait a full TEN minutes for the boot to complete). Yay!
I'll try taking out the optical drive & see if it'll boot from the secondary controller more easily until I scrape up funds to get a new motherboard ... and CPU, since Socket A is a tad long in the tooth (so much so that I doubt it's been produced in a good two or three years). Anyone know someone that can use a working Athlon 1.2GHz Thunderbird series CPU? I'll even include the all-copper heat sink. Waste not, want not, don'cha know.
I could go budget & get a newer mobo that still supports AGP so I can keep my video card. Even so, I'd need new memory since my PC133 chips aren't going to fit anything new. I've got a pair of 128M sticks if anyone wants 'em (the 256M stick is spoken for). I think I'll splurge as much as I can though; I like games.
I'd thought about going to Dell/HP & the like for a new system (yes, even Apple, but I've got too much $$ in PC software to justify that migration). The thing is, I have many components that are fairly new and working great. Why get another optical drive, case & all when I have those already? I suppose I'm just not a true consumer. Oh well.
ANYway, I'm shopping for pieces parts. This does make me all kinds of happy. Now I've just gotta pare down the "nice to have" (I do wish the MSI K8N Diamond Plus wasn't so damned popular) to the "need to have" (I've not forgotten the need for a new power supply).
...
Follow-up: Booting from the secondary IDE does indeed work just fine, though I continue to get a brief delay while chkdsk does its thing. Every. Time. I. Boot. So yeah, a replacement is in the works.
----------------------
Psyclon Nine, You Know What You Are
18 October 2006
You left it where?
Last year (or longer?) there was a lawsuit against Palm regarding a problem with the low-end Palm Pilots (think m100's if you know what I'm talking about) loosing the memory when merely changing the batteries. I noticed this trouble, but didn't think to file a class action lawsuit over it. The guy that DID think to do that received $10k for being a PITA, but I digress...
The courts signed off on an agreement to (in addition to oiling the squeaky wheel) refurbish those items. Owners like me didn't get a dime, but did get a post-paid envelope to send the thing in for the refurbishing. I figured, "Okay, if they're going to fix it free, I'll take advantage of it."
I received mine back a couple weeks ago after a couple delivery attempts. The courier they used couldn't leave it without a signature, and always finished their run around 2pm. The old m100 Palms are essentially worthless, really, but I guess they didn't want to deal with a bunch of other squeaky wheels claiming they never got it back & demand a more up-to-date Zire or something. Okayfine, I went & picked it up from the distribution center. It seems to work, but I've not attempted the battery change yet to see if it does the same thing.
That's not the point of this post though. Amazing that I'd go into so much detail about that, huh?
I had splurged Monday & ordered a new huge (to me & my 17" CRT anyway) LCD monitor. I only paid for the run-of-the-mill ground shipping, figuring I'd get it sometime early next week. I would've been perfectly fine driving down to the distribution center again to get it since this same courrier delivered so early in the day. I checked online to see where it's at this morning. According to the tracking information, they (that required a signature for an obsolete PDA) left the monitor at my front door. Thank you, Fry's. I really appreciate that... and I'm also pretty happy that I didn't spend the extra $20 for 2nd day delivery.
The challenge was to see if I could get home before the hooligan neighbors around here sober up & go collect "abandoned boxes" in the neighborhood... I'm happy to report that I succeeded, and am really enjoying the new view from my chair! If you get a chance to pick up one of these, I'm pretty damn sure you will not be disappointed.
Joy Kitikonti, Joyenergizer (Psico Mix)
The courts signed off on an agreement to (in addition to oiling the squeaky wheel) refurbish those items. Owners like me didn't get a dime, but did get a post-paid envelope to send the thing in for the refurbishing. I figured, "Okay, if they're going to fix it free, I'll take advantage of it."
I received mine back a couple weeks ago after a couple delivery attempts. The courier they used couldn't leave it without a signature, and always finished their run around 2pm. The old m100 Palms are essentially worthless, really, but I guess they didn't want to deal with a bunch of other squeaky wheels claiming they never got it back & demand a more up-to-date Zire or something. Okayfine, I went & picked it up from the distribution center. It seems to work, but I've not attempted the battery change yet to see if it does the same thing.
That's not the point of this post though. Amazing that I'd go into so much detail about that, huh?
I had splurged Monday & ordered a new huge (to me & my 17" CRT anyway) LCD monitor. I only paid for the run-of-the-mill ground shipping, figuring I'd get it sometime early next week. I would've been perfectly fine driving down to the distribution center again to get it since this same courrier delivered so early in the day. I checked online to see where it's at this morning. According to the tracking information, they (that required a signature for an obsolete PDA) left the monitor at my front door. Thank you, Fry's. I really appreciate that... and I'm also pretty happy that I didn't spend the extra $20 for 2nd day delivery.
The challenge was to see if I could get home before the hooligan neighbors around here sober up & go collect "abandoned boxes" in the neighborhood... I'm happy to report that I succeeded, and am really enjoying the new view from my chair! If you get a chance to pick up one of these, I'm pretty damn sure you will not be disappointed.
Joy Kitikonti, Joyenergizer (Psico Mix)
10 October 2006
If I dig any deeper...
I found a root sometime in the past few hours.
First some perspective. I have had nightmares for most of my life & could never figure out why. I wasn't knocked around at home, didn't get in to the liquor cabinet (much), let alone ingest/inject any other (debatably stronger) substances, as a kid. Didn't have any Uncle Molester that I had to visit. I just usually had gory dreams & never could pinpoint a root cause.
It bugged me, because I like to have a neat & tidy explanation for things (why this doesn't make me a dyed-in-the-wool athiest, I couldn't really say). A couple years ago, I made a conscious choice to not let it bug me so much. This coincided with me letting other things go a while after my divorce. I'd held on to some self-doubt for a while.
Anyway, I started writing a few of the nightmares down. One of my earliest remembered haunts came to me the other night. It was based in a waking incident one winter when I was knee-high to a grass-hopper.
We lived on a court. "Not a through street", as the signs say. One night I'd gotten out of the house because of some noise I'd heard. The moon was out, there were some clouds in the sky. There was one that was not like the rest though. The others were all just hovering there in the sky, no wind at all. One of those clouds, all poofy, was moving. I followed it as it drifted across the sky. Then it stopped. I stepped off the porch, and two steps onto the lawn, it started moving again. A little quicker that before, slowing down as it moved.
I stepped further out into the lawn towards the street because it kept going behind the roof line of the garage. Start and stop. I heard sounds of an engine revving, and thought, "What a weird cloud." Start and stop. Further onto the lawn I went, nearing the sidewalk. Start and stop. Before I knew it, I was in the middle of the street, looking at this odd-ball cloud sputtering across the sky as its companion clouds moved not one bit. The revving engine sounded closer. Louder. Then the squeal of tires brought me around on my heels to see headlights bearing down on me.
The revving went down with the nose of that car as it came to a stop not an inch from my chest. The odor of tires, locked up, filled my nostrils. Air rushed by me... through me... where I stood. The car rocked back and forth as it came to rest. The fan behind the radiator pulled air through, threatened to pull me through. I could tell you even now how many bug corpses were in the radiator of that Chevrolet Bel-Air, because I was sure to be the next corpse to be added to its fins.
A yell came from the front door of my house. It was my name, bellowed by my dad. Yelling at me to get in the house right now. Looking back, I see that I had cheated death. I was supposed to be a corpse in that grill. Because of a cloud. As I started running to the front door, I looked up at the last place I saw that cloud. It was still there. Glowing. Hadn't moved one bit, as though it was there, just knowing what was going to happen. It had lured me out to death's door (Christine?), and now appeared to be irritated that I wasn't taking up residence next to all the other bugs. That's when I was awake.
-------------------------------------------------
KISS, Detroit Rock City (as I peek out the window for any glowing clouds)
First some perspective. I have had nightmares for most of my life & could never figure out why. I wasn't knocked around at home, didn't get in to the liquor cabinet (much), let alone ingest/inject any other (debatably stronger) substances, as a kid. Didn't have any Uncle Molester that I had to visit. I just usually had gory dreams & never could pinpoint a root cause.
It bugged me, because I like to have a neat & tidy explanation for things (why this doesn't make me a dyed-in-the-wool athiest, I couldn't really say). A couple years ago, I made a conscious choice to not let it bug me so much. This coincided with me letting other things go a while after my divorce. I'd held on to some self-doubt for a while.
Anyway, I started writing a few of the nightmares down. One of my earliest remembered haunts came to me the other night. It was based in a waking incident one winter when I was knee-high to a grass-hopper.
We lived on a court. "Not a through street", as the signs say. One night I'd gotten out of the house because of some noise I'd heard. The moon was out, there were some clouds in the sky. There was one that was not like the rest though. The others were all just hovering there in the sky, no wind at all. One of those clouds, all poofy, was moving. I followed it as it drifted across the sky. Then it stopped. I stepped off the porch, and two steps onto the lawn, it started moving again. A little quicker that before, slowing down as it moved.
I stepped further out into the lawn towards the street because it kept going behind the roof line of the garage. Start and stop. I heard sounds of an engine revving, and thought, "What a weird cloud." Start and stop. Further onto the lawn I went, nearing the sidewalk. Start and stop. Before I knew it, I was in the middle of the street, looking at this odd-ball cloud sputtering across the sky as its companion clouds moved not one bit. The revving engine sounded closer. Louder. Then the squeal of tires brought me around on my heels to see headlights bearing down on me.
The revving went down with the nose of that car as it came to a stop not an inch from my chest. The odor of tires, locked up, filled my nostrils. Air rushed by me... through me... where I stood. The car rocked back and forth as it came to rest. The fan behind the radiator pulled air through, threatened to pull me through. I could tell you even now how many bug corpses were in the radiator of that Chevrolet Bel-Air, because I was sure to be the next corpse to be added to its fins.
A yell came from the front door of my house. It was my name, bellowed by my dad. Yelling at me to get in the house right now. Looking back, I see that I had cheated death. I was supposed to be a corpse in that grill. Because of a cloud. As I started running to the front door, I looked up at the last place I saw that cloud. It was still there. Glowing. Hadn't moved one bit, as though it was there, just knowing what was going to happen. It had lured me out to death's door (Christine?), and now appeared to be irritated that I wasn't taking up residence next to all the other bugs. That's when I was awake.
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KISS, Detroit Rock City (as I peek out the window for any glowing clouds)
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